February 28, 2022 "A Basher At My Birthday Party"

 I'm sorry that my emails have been pretty sparse lately. It seems that the day flies by and I hardly have time to blink. 

This week I turned 21. It's crazy, I don't feel that old. I have less than five months left on my mission. 

On Tuesday, we were walking around an apartment complex looking for one of our friends. Sister Waite had an impression that we needed to knock on a specific door. We did so and a man named Zeke opened the door. We came in and shared a very powerful lesson of the Restoration. Zeke has a lot of questions and was very engaged. 

On Wednesday, my birthday hence the title, we came back planning to share the restoration lesson. Instead, Zeke greeted us with a thick packet of anti questions he had found off the internet with some of the most specific questions I've ever heard, citing from specific paragraphs in the journal of Discourses (which is a book a prophet wrote a lonnnnngggg time ago). We testified our hearts out that what we had shared and taught was true. And we invited him on a tour of the church that Saturday. 

On Saturday we showed up for our church tour with Zeke. He has so many questions that we only made it through three rooms in two hours. Something he really struggled with was the doctrine of what happens after we die. I asked him if he wanted to be with his family again and he replied with:

"More than anything in the world." 

But what we were teaching him wasn't getting through. He struggled with why we read the old testament and the Book of mormon, with questions about Joseph Smith, with the idea of eternal families, the priesthood, and salvation. 

I had an impression that we needed to kneel together and pray. So we kneeled down in the primary room and I offered up a prayer asking God to bring peace into our lives.  After I ended, Sister Waite prayed. Then Sister Castillo. We invited Zeke to pray and he did so, but he didn't mention any of these questions that he was having.

I asked him what he was feeling and Zeke said 'nothing.'

We invited him to pray again, right there, asking God about what he was struggling with. Afterwards we waited in silence and then the spirit prompted me to say:

'Zeke, I think you have a lot of questions and a lot of doubt. But one way that the Lord speaks to us is He brings us peace in our mind when we pray. What are you thinking?'

And he replied with great emotion: 'I have had all of these questions swirling around in my head my entire life. I haven't been able to find the answers and I want to know so desperately.'

So we led him into the chapel and testified of the importance of coming to church, reading our scriptures, and pouring out our hearts in prayer. 

And he told us that he couldn't come to church this week, but he would next week and he wanted to know if this is true. 

I really like to ask deep questions. Ask any of my poor companions who have had to answer deep doctrine or tiny details that don't yet fit into the picture for me. Sometimes I think we can get so carried away with the piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit right that we forget about how much of a beautiful puzzle is right in front of us. 

And that puzzle is a picture of our Savior. This week I messed up and phrased something poorly to someone we are teaching. She was hurt. 

And so I used the Atonement in a big part of my life this week. I've been able to focus on the healing and enabling love of Jesus Christ and, most importantly, what that means in our lives. I've also been coming to understand that Jesus Christ's power to love us so much that we are changed, does not merely happen after we mess up. That atoning power is available before, during, and after our trials as we turn and trust in the Lord. 

You guys are the best!

I love you all so much,

Sister Brice